THE KITCHEN & THE COFFEE MACHINE
Our passes do NOT open the third-floor kitchen. We share the Council's kettle — their rota is on their noticeboard, please sign it. Bring your own teabags; the Council's are rationed and Sharon counts them. The coffee machine on Level 2 takes EXACT CHANGE (20p + 20p + 10p), eats the middle coin, and has been "awaiting an engineer" since 2011. Do not kick it — Facilities have asked, twice.

KEY FOBS
Badge in at the Council's reception every morning and sign their visitors' book. When your secondment ends, hand your fob back to the Council reception (NOT ours). If you post it to Chelmsford it takes six weeks and they bill us £15 for a new one.

BOOKING A MEETING ROOM
There is no online booking here. To book the Derwent or the Team Valley room you must DIAL the Council facilities line, ext. 4400, and ask Denise. She keeps a paper diary. If Denise is at lunch, you cannot book a room. This is not negotiable and we have stopped arguing about it.

PROJECTORS & ANYTHING TECHNICAL
The Council will not lend you theirs. Our one projector must be pre-booked with IT at Chelmsford at least 48 hours ahead (by email — they don't answer the phone). There is a fax machine; it works. There is no wifi in the back rooms. The network in Room 3.14, however, is the fastest on the whole estate, for reasons we needn't put in writing.